inducted....

i think i'm well on my way to being inducted into the official realm of mommyhood. this happened when i:

1) found myself picking someone ELSE'S nose.
2) was urinated on in the face. and the shirt. and on our wall.
3) hooked myself up to a breast pump not unlike your average jersey cow.
4) shamelessly went to the easter sunrise service with a wet (WET) shoulder from projectile vomit just moments before walking out of our front door.
5) began pronouncing a perfectly good word like diapers, "diapies."
6) rewrote the song "rubber ducky" to say "elliot maxwell."

ok, so 6 isn't bad but isn't that impressive either. i'm sure the list will keep growing. for now, though, i need to run to target to return $3 onesies that i think were overpriced and pick up some bottle liners that actually seal on top.